One of the strange things about life in my body is that somedays I feel and look perfectly healthy and fine and then, seemingly out of nowhere, a flare comes on which renders me nearly incapacitated.
Today is one of those days.
It started in the early morning, and I woke up and took my meds and applied biofreeze and drank water and tried to get more rest (which did not work).
So I took a shower and did my stretches and used my TENS unit and took more meds and brewed my tea. I put on more bio freeze.
And now, just after lunch, I am beginning to feel like a human again. A human in a lot of pain, but capable of functioning at about 30-40%.
This morning I did my best to avoid self-pity (which as you know is REALLY hard when you don’t feel well), but mostly managed to recognize that there are things outside my control and I’ve done the things I can do so all I can do is wait it out.
And this is where the gratitude comes in.
I am grateful that my child is old enough that when I’m knocked out like this, we can still mostly function.
I am grateful that I can (sometimes) maintain perspective.
I am grateful I have a partner who understands and believes me.
I am grateful for my TENS unit, batteries, and fresh electrodes.
I am grateful that I no longer believe that I deserve to suffer.
I am grateful for dark mode and prescription sunglasses.
I am grateful that I no longer expect myself to “toughen up and keep going.”
I am grateful to understand that gentleness is strength.
So, whatever you are grappling with at the moment, I hope you find a way to be soft with yourself.
Pretty Good Ugly 