anxiety – Pretty Good Ugly

Emergency Refill

SOMETIMES, you order your refill meds on time. But they don’t arrive in time. And SOMETIMES instead of panicking or blaming yourself/the pharmacy/mail, you seek a solution. And find one. Grateful for a holdover refill, grateful to have had the availability and bandwidth to solve the problem. And grateful I could drive there instead ofContinue reading “Emergency Refill”

Birthday Reflections

Even though, to quote Barbie, I’m not President. No one on the Supreme Court is me…

With all that said (and please don’t punch me), I have a pretty great life

“Are you OK?” (No. Yes. Mostly?)

The past couple weeks have been a LOT. There’s been loss and grief and shock and perspective shifts. There’ve been so many adjustments, life almost feels fluid (which is pretty beautiful), and now it’s the end of May. The phrase “Are you okay?” always throws me off. I feel defensive and defective and completely unableContinue reading ““Are you OK?” (No. Yes. Mostly?)”

Saturday Morning in the Cosmic Blob

These are the days I need to write and yet I don’t. Words and thoughts swirl around my mind so quickly I don’t even notice them, my fingers can’t keep up. Like florescent lights flickering too fast to be noticed except on a subliminal level, my thoughts storm my mind. I have nothing to say andContinue reading “Saturday Morning in the Cosmic Blob”

Increased Agitation

And everything feels chaotic because it kinda is.

So I try to handle the things that I can.

Performance Studies 2002

Watching our thesis about the “Detriment to Democracy: Infotainment, performative politics and 24-hour news” come true is not the satisfying experience academia promised.

Divorcing the Shoulds

I’ve lived under the weight of Shoulds for as long as I can remember. The “supposed to” Unspoken and unspeakably high expectations. Through the last decade or so, I’ve been breaking free of the Shoulds.Liberating myself bit by bit,Loosening, though not breaking my shackles. The external ones were easier to see, “Don’t Should on me!”Continue reading “Divorcing the Shoulds”