I’ve lived under the weight of Shoulds for as long as I can remember.
The “supposed to”
Unspoken and unspeakably high expectations.
Through the last decade or so, I’ve been breaking free of the Shoulds.
Liberating myself bit by bit,
Loosening, though not breaking my shackles.
The external ones were easier to see,
“Don’t Should on me!” I’d shout at the world.
My self-imposed ones are subtle, insidious.
Harder to divorce, they squeeze tighter and snap back.
Today I see my anxiety is rooted in Should, and the stress to make it so.
When I can say “This is how it is,”
And leave the “How it Should Be” alone
I can breathe more freely, more deeply.
I can be me.
Pretty Good Ugly 