A year ago I took my girl to the park for the first time in over 200 days (206 to be precise, we were definitely counting).
Now she’s back to Kindergarten after a couple days out with a sniffle and testing negative.
We had a play date with Forever Friends. It was amazing to watch them together. These only-children who met before birth, who were preschoolers of the pandemic, checking in on one another.
These kids, y’all, they’ll break your heart. Even the ones that are making it through okay are going through so much. Mine’s having a hard time. She doesn’t want to go to school. There are a couple boys that she has friction with.
She’s an ALL CAPS kid, like Gabi in Vivo, her very own brand of awesome and not everyone’s flavor. I point out the 17 other kids in class who think she’s fun and creative and a good teammate, but she hears the two boys who call her a crybaby.
She’s got big feelings, my girl. I do, too, I always have. It was really hard in elementary school (and middle school and high school and college and now), to be so passionate about so many things. Starting in elementary school I rose to every perceived injustice with the same fire I see her breathe now: I stormed out of a student council meeting when I felt like I wasn’t being heard (that was 3rd grade?)
Sidenote: Ever notice in Student Government, Parli-Pro is invoked way more frequently against girl students than boys? I certainly noticed. Early.
I know she comes by her fire honestly, and I do NOT want to tame it but I don’t want it to burn her either. I want her learn to hone it, to harness it, to wield it.
I spent decades trying to quiet my big feelings, trying to tone it down or keep it in and I’ve scorched myself in the process. I’ve spent years discovering ways to wield it. I still get burned, I’m still learning.
Pretty Good Ugly 